A compendium FOR MEN
EROSTOCRAT
LIVING STUDY AND MULTI-MEDIUM ANTHOLOGY
+ SANCTUARY OF HOLY EROTICA
-
Aristocracy traditionally refers to a ruling class, often marked by wealth, privilege, and sophistication. It can also imply a higher status or excellence in certain fields.
Mysticism is a transformative spiritual practice focused on inner experience, transcendence, and life’s mysteries. However, like an aristocracy, it can be exclusive, accessible only to a select few.
Erostocrat combines the refined qualities of an aristocrat with the spiritual depth of a mystic. Unlike elitist or exclusionary traditions, it is inclusive, distinguished by its integrity and reverence for sexuality as a sacred path to spiritual enlightenment.
EROSTOCRAT | an online magazine
SPIRITUALITY | SEXUALITY
SCIENCE | STORY | EROTIC ART
EROSTOCRAT | ONLINE MAGAZINE
Erostocrat is a groundbreaking magazine exploring the sacred intersection of sexuality, spirituality, science, story, and erotic art.
Through provocative essays, evocative film studies, and a vibrant online community to cultivate eroticism in a safe and holy way, it fosters healing, authenticity, and connection by reimagining eroticism as an essential, spiritual, embodied force of aliveness for personal and collective transformation and healing. It articulates and reconciles our divided nation’s sexual wound, beginning with the individual, reconciling their sexual shame—becoming holy! Whole, but set apart.
To make the magazine and its important message of embodiment accessible, there will be two publications of every issue: one featuring erotic art and another without.
NAVIGATE DOWN FOR:
The story of Erostocrat
The Interview
Erostocrat and the Church of Holy Erotica
Spotlight Stories
Artifact: Foxy Lady
Artifact: Tigerlily and Raven
Artifact: Wild Horse
Artifact: MuthaGawdess
Artifact: My First Nude Shoot
Erostocrat: A Kundalini Transmission
EROSTOCRAT
A PUBLICATION FOR MEN
SEXUALITY | SPIRITUALITY | SCIENCE | STORY | EROTIC ART
Erostocrat |Video Journal on Sexuality
This video was produced to finally tell my story. For the first time, I conveyed my approach with my camera, tackling three fronts at once in a circuitous manner, as if pulled by a mysterious thread. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from — — the mind, the body, and the soul.
-
This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.
See the evolution compass below.
-
Connection to Content
What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)
Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)
What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)
Connection to Self/Divine
As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)
In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)
-
Connecting to Content
What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)
What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)
What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)
Connecting to Self/Divine
What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)
As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)
magazine PILLARS | MIND, BODY, SOUL
-
OUR COUNTRY IS DIVIDED. Ever wonder why we either fall into either one of two sides of every hot button issue amplified by mainstream media? Whether it's abortion, gay marriage, gun control, racism, or vaccination cards, we are often triggered to one side with a vehemence that sees the other less than human. Polarizing hot button issues fuel tension between progressives and conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, and between families. Why?
The nation has a sexual wound. I see racism as one expression of this wound. Sexism is another. It is our sexual wound underneath racism and sexism that is poked and jabbed at by mainstream media inflaming our nation’s trauma into extremes that is blind to itselflike Christian Nationalism, systemic racism, and the hypocrisy of politicians and religious leaders shaming the sex work industry while also succumbing to scandal.
To break from this indoctrination of the MIND, we have to DECONSTRUCT the faith of our Judea-Christian nation. This branch of my work focuses on the microcosm of the macro-problem. By deconstructing PURITY CULTURE as a sub-culture phenomenon that peaked from the mid-90’s to the early 2000’s, we are also deconstructing the faith of our nation to expose the trauma of colonial western expansionism that even white Americans are victims of, a religious-sexual trauma embedded in our systems of government, of education, of entertainment, and our religious institutions. All this while still loving the Truth that is Christ.
-
AMERICAN CHRISTIANITY IS DIVIDED.Modern Christianity has certain pillars in its faith that reinforce an us-versus-them divide such as Satan-versus-Christ, hell-versus-heaven, and good-versus-evil. As Christians, we project this same division outwardly towards others and inwardly towards ourselves. We become polarized from Self and others with the same fierce vehemence as a war between angels and demons.
To unite as a country, we must first know how to unite with ourselves. As Christian-Americans, we have to fundamentally RECONSTRUCT our faith taking Christianity back to its ancient roots and reconnect to the BODY, the original church. To be aligned with our bodies is to aligned with the Truth in our bodies, what I also like the call the “Gospel of our Bodies”. When we live in this Truth, a Christ-Truth, and we know what this viscerally feels like, then we cannot be manipulated or controlled. Not by propaganda. Not by the indoctrinated version of religion. Not by Artificial Intelligence. Even A.I. must take its cues of what embodiment means from US, because it has no Body itself.
To reconnect with our bodies, it’s essential to revisit the mystery of the Holy Spirit. This Energy has different names throughout culture. To some, it is Chi. To others, it is prana. In the world of tantra, it is the Kundalini. This branch of my work focuses on the physical awakening of the Holy Spirit that has been dormant in our bodies using SOMATIC WORK, a series of exercises stripped from their cultural stories and performed in groups. This work teaches us how to confront, to hold, and reconcile with eroticism, but safely as energy.
-
AMERICAN SEX EDUCATION KEEPS US DIVIDED.As of today, America is far behind its neighbors regarding sex education, a basic human right that is still not taught in public schools or openly in churches. Meanwhile, pornography dominates as our generation’s most prominent sex educator inundating our children with the most extreme sexual content as young as 7. Adults are also at risk. Without proper sex education from our religious and educational institutions, adults stay just as disassociated from their bodies as the content they consume contributing to a national pandemic greater than Co-Vid: a pandemic proliferating child sexual abuse, domestic abuse, and religious trauma.
Social media, mainstream news, apps, pornography, and gaming culture is cultivating a generation of disembodied adults who are more endeared to a virtual world than the immediate world around them, a crises of connection that can be forecast by observing Japan and their efforts to re-invigorate their childbirth rates.
To break from this disassociation cycle, we have to EMBODY, for the betterment of ourselves and the betterment of the human-A.I. hybrid society in the present-now and future.
This last branch of my work is where I practice embodiment with my camera to confront and heal our collective wound around pornography and sexual shame in church. This ART is an expression of my SOUL, a series of ethnographic film field studies that I call HOLY EROTICA.
EROSTOCRAT | THE STORY
Inspired by the symbolic void left by Hugh Hefner and Billy Graham, I envisioned Erostocrat as a holistic trauma-informed alternative to Playboy, aimed at healing the nation’s sexual trauma with science, story, and spirituality —starting with men—while elevating and contextualizing women and non-binary individuals.
Erostocrat is foremost my method of deconstructing trauma and conditioning by deconstructing the medium. Erostocrat is where I return regularly, like a second home, to reconnect with our original sexual narrative as human beings and revive my authentic self as Nathanael.
In a post-truth, post-evangelical era of fierce expansion and isolation, a counterbalance is needed, a shared experience of authentic erotic embodiment rooted in Christ Consciousness. This is why Erostocrat is essential.
Erostocrat is humanity.
THE INTERVIEW |
As a producer-editor, I’ve spent my career listening to interviews—not just footage of someone speaking, but stories, wisdom, and lived experience. Often, I’ve had to cut what felt like the most profound moments to fit the needs of a show I’m hired to produce.
I have returned to the interview format to explore and relearn sexuality. Filming is my way of learning, and editing is integrating it into my body. These studies allow me to share the raw, uncut gems—MOMENTS OF TRUTH AND DEPTH—presented as the heart of the content.
ISSUE ONE | TRANSFORMATION
Issue 1: Breaking the Binary
The first issue of Erostocrat deconstructs toxic masculinity, pornography, religion, and media, while introducing the triangle as a symbol of ascension and the third gender. It questions the absence of the feminine in Christianity and redefines storytelling through the magazine’s unique format. This issue serves as a foundation for reimagining spirituality and identity.
This journey begins with theology, exploring Judaism through the symbol of the Ark of the Covenant, while examining it through the lens of toxic masculinity and society's fixation on sex.
Issue 2: Kundalini and Embodied Spirituality
The second issue explores the union of science and spirituality, focusing on kundalini energy, the Holy Spirit, and the sacred geometry of DNA. Themes of ascension, transformation, and the emergence of a new humanity are central. This issue connects personal and collective evolution to a higher frequency of consciousness.
This goes into Christian Mysticism with transverberation, which is the 8th form of sexing, and we study this phenomenon.
Issue 3: Unity Through Ecstatic Expression
The third issue transmits unity through ecstatic dance and drumming, rooted in Hawaii as a symbol of a "last New Eden." It critiques Christian Nationalism while calling for true faith and revival through higher consciousness. Themes of Indigenous wisdom, extraterrestrial influence, and the Möbius strip highlight humanity's need for ego death, balance with the Earth, and spiritual ascension.
This is actual embodiment. We are actually connecting to one another using online engagement. We are now doing this and we know why.
Episode 1: The Hot Mess (Los Angeles)
The story begins in Los Angeles, where I follow a porn star with #MeToo allegations against her, while also seeking acknowledgment from a rabbi who faces similar accusations. Though I have written consent to release my art, I realize doing so would violate the essence of consent itself, leaving me conflicted. I feel like Batman, caught in a storm of moral ambiguity, unsure if I’m making a documentary about the rabbi, the porn star, or purity culture as a whole. This episode captures the chaos of my initial steps into this project and my own uncertainty about where the story is leading me.
The first issue of Erostocrat confronts toxic masculinity, the conditioning of pornography, religion, and media, while introducing the triangle as a symbol of ascension and the third gender. It questions the absence of the feminine in Christianity and redefines storytelling through the magazine’s unique format.
In this issue, I take on the role of investigator, exploring the story of Lily Cade, a porn star with #MeToo allegations, and grappling with themes of consent, purity culture, and moral ambiguity. This sets the foundation for a fractal pattern of investigations that continues throughout the series.
Transition Between Episodes
Each episode flows naturally into the next, reflecting my evolving understanding of the story I’m living. In Episode 1, I am consumed by external conflicts and moral dilemmas in Los Angeles. In Episode 2, the focus turns inward as I confront my own blockages and grief through my teacher’s story. Finally, in Episode 3, the narrative expands outward again, connecting personal healing with cultural roots and universal themes of identity and resilience.
Each magazine issue and its corresponding investigation is part of a larger fractal pattern—a web of interconnected stories that invites readers and viewers to begin wherever they feel drawn. This nonlinear format mirrors the web of life, allowing individuals to continue their own investigations and weave new threads into the storyline.
This innovative approach redefines content consumption, encouraging exploration, connection, and personal interpretation rather than a fixed, linear experience.
Episode 2: The Apprentice (New York and Tulum)
The second episode shifts to New York and Tulum, where I try to vet the footage of my teacher, a woman whose teachings and #MeToo accusations intertwine with my own story. To get to the truth, I become her apprentice, only to discover that her story reflects my own unprocessed pain—it happened to me too. This realization strikes as my father passes away, adding layers of grief and introspection. What initially seems like an investigation of her becomes an investigation of myself, as she helps me confront the blockages I’ve been avoiding.
The second issue delves into the convergence of science and spirituality, focusing on kundalini energy, the Holy Spirit, and the sacred geometry of DNA. Themes of ascension, transformation, and the emergence of a new humanity are central.
Here, my mentor, Kristina, takes on the role of investigator. She begins with the healer who transformed her, unraveling deeper layers of healing and consciousness. This investigation mirrors the fractal nature of the series, where each person’s exploration branches out and connects to others.
Episode 3: The Thread (Arkansas, Hawaii, and the Philippines)
The third episode transitions to Arkansas, Hawaii, and the Philippines, weaving together the threads of my Indigenous roots and the soil’s story. In Hawaii, I uncover connections to the Indigenous people of the Philippines and their resilience, finding echoes of my own identity. Along the way, a woman experiencing a kundalini awakening becomes central to the narrative, but she doesn’t want to be filmed. Her presence inspires me to revisit a story about a Christmas tree that I had abandoned when this journey began. This episode becomes a reflection on ancestry, healing, and the cyclical nature of the stories we carry.
The third issue transmits unity through ecstatic dance and drumming, rooted in Hawaii as a symbol of a "last New Eden." It critiques Christian Nationalism while calling for true faith and revival through higher consciousness. Themes of Indigenous wisdom, extraterrestrial influence, and the Möbius strip highlight humanity's need for ego death, balance with the Earth, and spiritual ascension.
In this issue, my muse becomes the investigator, exploring the story of a local in Hawaii. This expands the fractal narrative to include the soil, ancestral connections, and a universal call to balance and identity.
RELIGION, SCIENCE, EDUCTATION, SOCIAL ISSUES |
The Holy Erotica film studies are not all blatantly erotic. Most deal with the subject of spiritual-sexuality conversationally or peripherally to illustrate how eroticism interweaves into all parts of life such as family dynamics, religious upbringing, ancestry, biology, spirituality, and MORE. Featured contributors include anthropologists, published therapists, sexologists, trauma therapists, ministers, and my friends.
THE SEX WITCH (Artifact 071919) | An interview with bodyworker and author Jamie Lynn Finch deconstructing the conditionings of purity culture.
Artifacts 071919 | Dr. Monique Modrey discusses racism while I slowly start realizing my pattern of filming and dating white women.
THE MIND | THEOLOGY
THE BODY | HEALING
THE SOUL | EROTIC ART
-
Kennewick, WA
An AUDIO STUDY of a friend who teaches dance and counsels women recovering from the exotic spaces and her profound story of ancestry, once a mystery because of her adoption into a conservative and well-to-do family, but a profound discovery of lineage of the erotic reconnecting her to her severed line of her mother, her grandmother, and the “Foxy Lady” of Jimi Hendrix.
-
Brooklyn, NY
A film study of art and empowerment with a friend who finds her HIGHEST abilities in the invisible power-dynamics of conversing with men in the underbelly of the exotic dance space; a sacred solitary expression which happens to be center stage. It’s a practice of surrender to the unknown as mirrored in her therapeutic paintings with fellow “work wife” Raven; a dance at the edges of addiction and artistry.
-
Oakland, CA
A character study of a friend who grew up in a cult and once was rode free on a “wild horse” reflects on her escape and paradoxically found freedom and healing in SHIBARI, Japanese rope bondage, a sacred and sensual art inspiring her many talents as a fashion designer and performance artist.
-
Brooklyn, NY
An AUDIO STUDY of a friend who grew up without a father and under the shame from the church, but remarkably, still finding her power, agency, and autonomy in NAMING HERSELF; a glimpse into a chapter of her ever-evolving journey that continues today.
-
Tulum, MX
My first official nude shoot with a friend unravels into a profound conversation of embodiment and growing up in conservative Christianity and a mutual calling to be cultural change-agents in a the name of CHRIST through a common wound of spiritual-sexuality.
EROSTOCRAT EPISODE | “SWAN SONG”
Make it stand out
