A compendium FOR MEN                                           

EROSTOCRAT

                              SANCTUARY OF HOLY EROTICA

  • Aristocracy traditionally refers to a ruling class, often marked by wealth, privilege, and sophistication. It can also imply a higher status or excellence in certain fields.

    Mysticism is a transformative spiritual practice focused on inner experience, transcendence, and life’s mysteries. However, like an aristocracy, it can be exclusive, accessible only to a select few.

    Erostocrat combines the refined qualities of an aristocrat with the spiritual depth of a mystic. Unlike elitist or exclusionary traditions, it is inclusive, distinguished by its integrity and reverence for sexuality as a sacred path to spiritual enlightenment.

GALLERYPIC0.jpg

EROSTOCRAT | an online magazine

SPIRITUALITY | SEXUALITY

SCIENCE | STORY | EROTIC ART

| Concept art.

EROSTOCRAT |

Erostocrat is an immersive documentary experience in the form of an online magazine, weaving storytelling, artifact curation, and a community-driven subscription model to explore spiritual sexuality and eroticism in a shame-free, sacred space.

With a satirical yet radically honest tone, it directs humor not at the truths being shared but at the systems of shame—political, religious, and cultural—that react to them, acknowledging both their positive and negative complexities, always, while also modeling the distinction of acting from one’s heart.

The goal is to break the cycle of passive, addictive content consumption and the isolation it fosters. In contrast, Erostocrat invites active, mindful engagement—encouraging connection, healthier consumption habits, and the ability to hold multiple beliefs while discerning how to navigate from your authentic self, which is following your heart.

Given that some content is adult-oriented, a separate, more general version of the magazine will also be available, offering inclusive access to the key discussions and resources on these transformative topics.

Curation | The Holy Erotica films and artifacts are available publicly and privately for the Church of Holy Erotica community. Subscribers who purchase a printed version of the magazine will also gain access to the multi-media artifacts online. However, adult-only artifacts are exclusively accessible to paying COHE members.

Target Audience: Christian Men, Deconstructing Christians, Ex-Fundamentals, Asian American, Spiritual-Sexuality, Science, Art

NAVIGATE DOWN FOR:

  • Why not?

  • Magazine Pillars: Mind, Body, Soul

  • Erostocrat 3-Part Limited Series Arc

    • Intersticials / A “Web” Series

  • Sign-Up for FREE The EROStocrat monthly newsletter.

WHY NOT? |

“After Hugh Hefner and Billy Graham died months from one another, I happened upon an empty magazine rack and had a curiosity. Could one persona fill the void of both? Is that even possible?

It feels odd to put both in the same sentence. One used the photos of Marilyn Monroe without her consent to start a magazine. One preached at a stadium where I walked down many bleachers to accept Christ. Again. I think it was the third time, and I was 12.

I envisioned Erostocrat as a holistic, trauma-informed alternative to Playboy, aimed at healing the nation’s divide by healing the shame within the western man—our wounding with religion and sex—using science, story, spirituality, and EROTIC ART..

N / O

New York, NY | Interviewed by an NYU documentary film student.

EROSTOCRAT

A PUBLICATION FOR MEN

SEXUALITY | SPIRITUALITY | SCIENCE | STORY | EROTIC ART

THE PILLARS | 

Erostocrat focuses on the subject of spiritual-sexuality and religious-sexual trauma to cultivate holistic interconnectivity between the mind, body, and soul.

Artifact 080221

Inspiration of the 3 Pillars

This artifact is my first attempt to tell my own story. To say it. To edit it. To feel it. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from. It was already inherent in my filmmaking exploration, specifically in the fronts I chose— the mind, the body, and the soul.

  • This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.

    See the evolution compass below.

  • Connection to Content

    • What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)

    • Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)

    • What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)

    Connection to Self/Divine

    • As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)

    • In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)

    • How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)

  • Connecting to Content

    • What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)

    • What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)

    • What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)

    Connecting to Self/Divine

    • What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)

    • As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)

    • How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)

  • OUR COUNTRY IS DIVIDED. Mainstream media fuels polarization on issues like abortion, racism, and gun control, triggering deep divisions rooted in our nation’s sexual wound. This trauma, stemming from religious and colonial expansion, manifests in systemic racism, sexism, and hypocrisy, especially in how society views sex work.

    To heal the MIND, we must deconstruct purity culture as a microcosm of America’s broader Judeo-Christian trauma. By exposing these roots, we confront the indoctrination that perpetuates societal wounds, all while honoring the Truth in Christ.

  • AMERICAN CHRISTIANITY IS DIVIDED. Modern Christianity’s polarizing faith systems—good-versus-evil, heaven-versus-hell—create inner and outer divides. True healing begins by reconnecting with the BODY, the original church, to align with the “Gospel of our Bodies” and reclaim embodied Truth.

    Through somatic practices and awakening the Holy Spirit within (known in other cultures as Chi, prana, or Kundalini), this work helps us confront and reconcile erotic energy safely. Reconstructing with an integration of the erotic liberates us from manipulation, propaganda, and disconnection.

  • AMERICAN SEX EDUCATION KEEPS US DIVIDED. With poor sex education and pornography dominating as a de facto teacher, America faces a pandemic of disconnection, abuse, and shame. Adults and children alike are trapped in cycles of disassociation, disconnected from their bodies and the world around them.

    To break free, we must EMBODY the soul’s truth with or Authentic Self. This pillar expresses itself through Holy Erotica—ethnographic film studies confronting sexual shame and reclaiming sacred sexuality. Through art, we heal wounds around pornography and religious trauma, offering a path to a more connected future.

EROSTOCRAT series ARC |

The arc of the premiere edition of Erostocrat, a limited 3-part series, unfolds as a powerful healing journey, charting a transformative path through transformation, transcendence, and transfiguration. This intimate narrative delves fearlessly into my complex relationship with race, sexuality, and masculine identity as an Asian-American man raised in the purity culture of the Bible Belt.

SUMMARY

Each episode flows naturally into the next, reflecting my evolving understanding of the story I’m living. In Episode 1, I am consumed by external conflicts and moral dilemmas in Los Angeles. In Episode 2, the focus turns inward as I confront my own blockages and grief through my teacher’s story. Finally, in Episode 3, the narrative expands outward again, connecting personal healing with cultural roots and universal themes of identity and resilience.

The story crescendos with a profound homecoming—both literal and symbolic—culminating in a cosmic alignment: a total eclipse in my hometown, a Mezo-American celestial event that underscores the restoration of identity and belonging. This journey weaves personal healing with universal themes, offering a lens into the fusion of the personal, the cosmic, and artifact.

intersticials | the “WEB” SERIES

Each magazine issue-episode and its investigation form part of a larger fractal pattern—a web of interconnected stories that expand outward and occasionally loop back into existing arcs. This structure is driven by the INTERSTICIAL STORIES.

Intersticials are tied to the main episode-issue by theme, character, or artifact, acting as entry and exit points in the ever-evolving Erostocrat universe.

This nonlinear narrative mirrors the web of life, enabling individuals to explore and contribute their own investigations, weaving new threads into the story. In doing so, Erostocrat transforms content consumption from passive to active, counteracting the content fatigue of today.

EROSTOCRAT

  • This journey begins with theology following a controversial Kabbalistic teaching suggesting the Ark of the Covenant as the first public display of erotic art. A deep dive into current systems of toxic masculinity in purity culture, media, and pornography. Thematically, this examines the first definition of Holy meaning “set apart”

  • Nathanael examines the March 2020 shooting at a Korean Spa in Atlanta as an Asian-American Christian man, an event where he empathizes more with the white evangelical shooter than the Asian women who died. A deeper dive with Dr. Monique Moltrey reveals how purity culture celebrates the “white virgin” over women of color. Nathanael also examines American media with Dr Marc Schoen, specifically how American media normalizing guns more so than sexuality. Nathanael introduces his premise—is our nation’s root wound a religious-sexual one, in which other issues like gun control and race branch from? The triangle emerges as a sacred symbol challenging binary norms and suggesting the “third” genders in indigenous cultures are the shamans of high statue, the risen center of the triangle.

  • Set in Los Angeles, Nathanael wraps up his podcast with co-host conservative author Shannon Ethridge with a compelling statistic suggesting Christians watch more porn than the average American. Nathanael explores his own interest, filming an interview with lesbian porn stars, an event that results to his first erotic short film, a moment he experiences God. His film is featured by Dr. Marc Gafni in a mystery school, but everything falls apart when Nathanael’s subject and supporter both have #MeToo scandals against them. Apparently, Nathanael has been trying to make a healer out of Lily Cade, something that is suggested by Nathanael’s peers, that he may want to be Lily Cade himself.

  • The first Holy Erotica film, Just For One Day, is deconstructed as a feature-length raw experience, reframing erotic connection like the cherubs atop the Ark of the Covenant. The Church of Holy Erotica, on online community emerges as a sacred space for erotic content with spiritual reverence. An artifact is featured, a fan-film selfie where the subject, a Christian mom who never had an orgasm or masturbates is sexually opened by his film.

    • The Kiss - This artifact study puts focus on the kiss that Nathanael remembers as the moment that calms his shaky camera. The shaky camera resurfaces by the end of this arc when Nathanael becomes disembodied in Hawaii.

    • Sacred Selfie - This is introduced when a fan shares her own erotic art in response to Nathanael’s erotic art, a gesture that Nathanael equates to applause.

    • Box Study - This is introduced for the first time as a means to make the JFOD art/photography book. This becomes a useful tool for Nathanael to re-insert himelf into his life experience by using art to re-create a fantasy he avoided.

  • Nathanael examines the story of Jennifer Knapp as a gospel star he grew up admiring he came out as a lesbian shortly after being celebrated as as voice of the True Love Waits movement, a story of a homosexual relationship, a theme that is confronted with his first Holy Erotica film.

    *Perhaps other purity stories can web out from here just like the Puna Ecstatic Dance Stories can web out

ISS./EP 1 DRAFT

  • This explores Christian mysticism through transverberation, the embodied Holy Spirit is the kundalini feminine energy. This is a deep dive into embodiment and themes of new feminism. This is the investigation of the Mother as the Holy Spirit of the Trinity God-head. This examines the second definition of holy which means to reconcile separate parts, to make whole.

  • Nathanael continues his investigation of race, guns, and sexuality finding a mentor who is a former Victoria’s Secret model, theologian, and healer. She leads Nathanael into a deep-dive into science and the esoteric, following the research of Dr. William Reich (Orgon energy) and narratives of non-western spirituality which all have Holy Spirit archetypes as feminine energy. Love is explored as the energy within and between all things, a thread abandoned from Orthodox Christianity but preserved in the art of Spanish mystics. The DNA strand is introduced as a conjoining of two triangles at their tips, a reference of sacred oneness between masculine and feminine polarities. Narratives of Christ going to India to learn eastern ideals is introduced. Meanwhile, Nathanael meets participants of the orginal Jesus Freak movement and churches supporting public erotica (Methodists and Unitarians). Meanwhile, Nathanael dates and films only white women.

  • Set in New York and Tulum Mexico, Nathanael investigates the tapes of his mentor, a collection of artifacts (that inspires his own) featuring healers that look like they took advantage of his mentor. Nathanael investigates the validity of her healers, even going back to Tulum with her to meet her former guides. Nathanael starts to embrace his own healership having his first nude shoot with a Christian woman. As a man, Nathanael confronts his own anger for constantly feeling invisible doing his Holy Erotica shoots. Nathanael explores a narrative that he may be the sexual healer that he tried to make Lily Cade to be, an investigation that leads him into a series of sloppy relationships while avoiding the wound of his own marriage.

  • This study goes into feminine self pleasure based on Cosmic Touch, his second erotic film. Nathanael explores feminine connection with each other as a symbol to explore his own eroticism in self-pleasure. This study features his new muse, Lillie a woman who leads yoni and breast messages for other women. This endeavor leads Nathanael to feature his own self-pleasure video as artifact and discussion. Explores erotic energy through self-connection, featuring photography, films, and artifacts like a woman’s self-pleasure audio and a coach guiding breast and yoni massage. It also includes my own self-pleasure, using the camera to witness trauma and duality, later transformed into joy through embodiment work with my mentor.

    • The Kiss - This is continued by showing a kiss between two women, one that is authentic and not performative, one that is of innocence. (Innocence is foreshadowed in the Poetry Study, foreshadowing poem of Magdalene Remembered)

    • Sacred Selfie - This theme is reprised when Nathanael records himself in a self-pleasure exercise, but instead of a selfie he uses it as a healing container.

    • Box Study - This motif is used with Cosmic Touch revealing a dualism of self-pleasure, something Nathanael recreates for himself to examine the anger in his own self-pleasure. The box study also introduces the kundalini as a psychosis.

  • Nathanael is the chief investigator of this issue-episode, but his camera has captured the compelling stories of these fascinating characters, artifacts, and themes:

    Foxy Lady

    Wild Horse

    MuthaGawdess

    Cassandra Complex

ISS./EP 1

  • This explores the transmission from Nathanael kundalini awakening, a voice that tells him to create Holy Erotica reconnecting him to his cultural roots, a journey that gives him insight into the nations religious-sexual wound. This features the third definition of holy which means being set apart because you are whole. This is the birth of new masculine from new feminine.

  • Nathanael’s father dies sending him back to Arkansas where he investigates his own family history with his parents as first-generation, the first Filipino’s in Arkansas establishing the Arkansas Philippine Association. He compares the racism he experiences since Co-Vid which didn’t exists when he was younger, and the role of his own sexuality as an Asian American man. While grappling to accept his own roots as a Christian and Filipino, Nathanael journeys to Hawaii where he finds his new story thread in a tattoo. Arkansas is also explored for its indigenous roots as home to American Folk Art and the Cherokee and its history in the Arkansas region. The sexual history of Hawaii is examined and the Philippines, and Hawaii is featured as the last place of colonialization, the starting point of the Rainbow Road that unites indegenious cultures.

  • Set in my home locations of Arkansas and the Philippines through my life in Hawaii, I investigate local story with a Hawaiian-Filipino tatoo artist who gives me a tattoo as a clue to take my camera to the Philippines. This story reveals the story of ancient Filipinos that never succumbed to colonization, but leaving behind a story of fear and the Aswang the Filipinos all know more than their actual history. The Philippine profoundly effects Nathanael as he is attracted to Asian women for the first time while also rekindling a relationship from his first girlfriend in high school, a girl that was white and the race mattered at the time.

    Erotic Artifact Curation
    This campaign celebrates community-shared content, emphasizing dance, drumming, and cultural healing practices. It’s a call to embrace alternative practices for connection, healing, and unity. This also features a study called “the kiss”, which is introduced at the first and second erotic art curations. His last Holy Erotica film Magdalene Remembered is examined featuring his latest muse Kelly, who is an investigative filmmaker herself. The “sacred selfie” artifact reaches a conclusion featuring artifact of pleasure as prayer.

    Additional Story Study:
    Nathanael examines the story of Cathy Reed, a dancer along other dancers he has studied and her profound story of being raised in a conservative upbringing as an adopted child but still following a desire to be involved in sex work, a calling that apparently her mother and grandmothers share, and the story of “Foxy Lady”, Jimi Hendrix lover.

  • This campaign celebrates community-shared content, emphasizing dance, drumming, and cultural healing practices. It’s a call to embrace alternative practices for connection, healing, and unity. This also features a study called “the kiss”, which is introduced at the first and second erotic art curations. His last Holy Erotica film Magdalene Remembered is examined featuring his latest muse Kelly, who is an investigative filmmaker herself. The “sacred selfie” artifact reaches a conclusion featuring artifact of pleasure as prayer.

    • The Kiss - This is resolved when Nathanael showcases himself kissing a woman of color.

    • Sacred Selfie - This theme is reprised when the phone is transformed into a ceremonial space and all are invited to replicate the intention of Magdalene Remembered

  • While in Hawaii, Nathanael collaborates with her filmmaking muse Kelly to capture the story of the Dolphin Woman, a local “Punatic” who develops a soul-bond with dolphins while risking life to film lava flows cascading into the oceans.

    They also capture the origin of ecstatic dance with exisiting founders who Nathanael and Kelly have share community with intermittently, introducing a new universe of stories into the Erostocrat fold.

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ISS./EP 2

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ISS./EP 3

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