A compendium FOR MEN
EROSTOCRAT
HOLY EROTICAFAITH OR FICTION:
Christ in a Post-Truth World
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Barbara Brennan, an astrophysicist turned healer, introduces the "Three Ts" for spiritual /personal growth, from self-awareness to profound spiritual renewal.
Transformation: Awakening to and addressing inherited patterns and conditioning.
Transcendence: Moving beyond the limitations of old patterns and beliefs.
Transfiguration: The culmination of growth, where transformation and transcendence integrate into a profound alchemical change.
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Filmmaker-Artist-Teacher Nathanael uses definition of “holy” for ascension arc.
ho·ly
/ˈhōlē/
Set apart.
To make whole.
Set apart by being whole
As a Christian, I understood "holy" to mean "set apart." In the healing community, however, the concept of holiness takes on a different nuance—it signifies the integration of parts, a movement toward wholeness.
Holy Erotica explores the seemingly opposing realms of the "holy" and the "erotic," which religion and society have long kept separate. By reconciling these divided halves, it bridges the spiritual and the sexual within us, fostering the healing of shame. To live without shame is to embrace wholeness—a way of life that is, by its very nature, set apart.
ISSUE-episode 1 | TRANSFORMATION
DUALISM OF FAITH: Healing a Nation Divided by
Christ and Conquest
Our nation has undergone a fierce reckoning. The #MeToo movement exposed the pervasive existence of abuse within systems of entertainment, religion, and politics, while the COVID-19 pandemic forced us into isolation to either confront or ignore these realities. The divide we see today—a louder, unresolved polarization—is, I believe, a reflection of a deeper fracture within ourselves: the split created by religious sexual shame. To heal as a nation, we must first confront this wound.
America was colonized by Europeans fleeing religious oppression, but they brought with them a Bible forged to unite Rome. At its core, the Bible contains two messages: one of Christ’s transformative love and one of conquest. This dualism has shaped our nation’s faith into something part-sincere and part-conditioning—a faith that blurs Christ with crusades and colonialism. It is a Christianity that asks the least of us, evades self-reflection, and clings to entitlements under the guise of righteousness. Until we confront this dualism, the Gospel will remain a tool of division rather than liberation.
We are living in a post-evangelical world, where nearly everyone has heard of Christ. But evangelism today cannot mean preaching the same Christ of conquest. It must distinguish the authentic Christ—a message of healing, love, and unity—from the anti-Christ, which thrives on fear and control. Simultaneously, we are in a post-truth world, where media manipulation, church abuses, and even the normalization of extraterrestrial discussions force us to question authority and reality itself.
How, then, do we find Truth in a post-truth world? How do we identify the authentic Christ in a post-evangelical landscape? How do we heal a nation entrenched in division?
The answer, I believe, lies in a collective revival of Christ. This is not about the return of a singular figure but about the awakening of Christ’s spirit within humanity—a collective transformation across religions and beliefs. It’s about seeing God not as a literal figure prone to humanlike flaws, but as the essence of love and yearning for connection within all of us.
This is the work of the Holy Spirit. It’s gnosis—a deep knowing that transcends doctrine and calls us to live authentically in Christ’s heart. This message is not exclusive to Christianity; it resonates across cultures and languages as a universal truth.
The time is now. We are the Revival. Christ’s return is within us—a collective movement that unites rather than divides. Healing begins when we embrace this truth and let the heart of Christ guide us forward.
SCIENCE/TECHTHE HISTORY OF PORNOGRAPHY |
rom the printing press that first brought us the Bible to the church’s early embrace of filmmaking, spirituality and innovation have long been intertwined. Yet, as technology evolved, so too did its use—pornography emerged alongside these advances, mirroring a complex relationship between sexuality and spirituality. Churches have pioneered unique innovations, as I witnessed in the Philippines, but what if the intersection of spirituality and sexuality holds a destined role in shaping technology itself? With AI now learning from our habits and values, how do we guide this "child" technology toward a better future? Explore these questions and more in our next issue.
What I observed most is that these works featured the first. There was the first black man. There was the first little person. There was the first gay kiss. In the erotic, these things are celebrated. And what happens if we alter the shame that we give it and simply call it love. Immediatley, the erotic art captures where love is. It captures the profane. What are shit videos? It is an expression of loving what is profane. It is love.
In contrast to what has been done in religion where people were considered Jews by having their nips clipped. Because these things are considered unholy. Just another measurable metric wherre the Christianity that we have is also a trauma. A sexual trauma. And in the erotic. What we experience is love. AND THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE I WAS JEALOUS OF. THERE WAS MORE LOVE IN THAT SPACE THAN THERE WAS IN THE CHURCH. THAT IS WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO CULTIVATE NEW SPACES.
THE DANSER
Another thing that was featured was the dance, because burlesque was featured. This was also considered very sexual and provacotive. Why are we compelled to put or eroticism at the forefront of technology? Why not spirituality? The argument here is that what if sexuality IS the technology of spirituality. And this is all we have to do to share Christ love. There is a fusion of the erotic and tech as there is with A.I. and robots. It’s time for spirituality and Christianity to see the value of this. Starting with me. So come on. Let’s do it.
Early films often featured dancers like Loïe Fuller performing the "Serpentine Dance," a visually captivating, flowing dance that was considered provocative for its time.
Dr. Marc Schoen discusses the cultural relevance of the kiss as showcased on his webssite, but also here for free.
BURLESQUE |
ARTS
Another thing that I started to do in Los Angeles is that I filmed and documented Burlesque dancers. I always loved to dance, and this is a thematic thing that will pay off later. So burlesque fascinated me and I admired their power. Maybe I should be a ChipNDale’s dancer? I shot this in a historical place in Los Angeles that used to be pivotal for the scene. Historical.
What is fascinating about this art is that when it came to the united states, that is when it became sexual. Why in the united states? Because the religion is also hi. This is an investigation that there is a connection between sexuality and spirituality that has been marginalized for too long. THIS HAPPENED IN MELTING POTS WHERE THERE IS MORE LOVE AND MORE DIVERSITY VERSUS WHEN WE SEE SEGRATATION AND MORE CHURCHES.
My father the heretic.
He did not believe in the trinity. And since his decision, I have since learned that i agree with him. That is was adopted at the council of Nicea to unify rome, as well as marriage from a polygomist time. ONe must consider What this means. What else was adopted? Isn’t this idea Egyptian and borrowed?
Learn about KEMET from Tara’s boo and what we learn there when we follow the Egyptian line.
Part 1 is that the trinity is not biblical. Part 2 is Holy Spirit is energy. Part 3, cyclical
WILLIAM STAYTON
THE JESUS SEMINARS AND PORN
The story begins in Los Angeles, where I follow a porn star with #MeToo allegations against her, while also seeking acknowledgment from a rabbi who faces similar accusations. Though I have written consent to release my art, I realize doing so would violate the essence of consent itself, leaving me conflicted. I feel like Batman, caught in a storm of moral ambiguity, unsure if I’m making a documentary about the rabbi, the porn star, or purity culture as a whole. This episode captures the chaos of my initial steps into this project and my own uncertainty about where the story is leading me.
The first issue of Erostocrat confronts toxic masculinity, the conditioning of pornography, religion, and media, while introducing the triangle as a symbol of ascension and the third gender. It questions the absence of the feminine in Christianity and redefines storytelling through the magazine’s unique format.
In this issue, I take on the role of investigator, exploring the story of Lily Cade, a porn star with #MeToo allegations, and grappling with themes of consent, purity culture, and moral ambiguity. This sets the foundation for a fractal pattern of investigations that continues throughout the series.
THE MIND | THEOLOGY
RELIGION, PURITY, GUN CONTROL |
When the shooting of the Korean Spa when March 2020 happens, it was a sensitive time of our country at the beginning of Co-Vid as polarizing issues were further divided by whether or not people were vaccinated. Families were divided among this and other issues and racism returned with a fever pitch, something that I never noticeably experienced before. This was at a time right after #MeToo and how we were beginning to heal from the narrative of sex abuse. It is an emphasis that is starting to happen now and I experienced a divide that I was not anticipating. When the shooting happened, I found myself empathizing with the shooter who was an evangelical man than my Asian sisters of color. What did this mean?
I concluded that this mean that I was a product of my conditioning. First there was my own whiteness at play, and this came out with the type of women I pursued after my divorce. Gorgeous white women. These are the women that I filmed. This was also the pornography that I watched. And something I noticed with my friend of color in Hawaii, which was predominately white. This was our island experience? I had a double-experience, welcomed by locals, but also I associated white. I recalled an interview we did during our podcast about what our dualistic faith had a white leaning that it was blind too. And I associate myself into this. It wasn’t until I found myself around Filipinos that something happened, I filmed myself with darker women which mirrored my fantasy. This is a result of my study of following my cock.
THERE IS A MEDIA THAT IS SELLING US THINGS WE DON’T NEED. THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TO BE MANIPULATIVE, BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU TO THINK. WE DON’T WANT YOU TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. WE DON’T. BECAUSE THAT PUTS US OUT OF WORK. SO WHAT THEN DO WE DO. WE DO NEED TO WORK. LET’S DO SOMETHING BETTER, AND EDUCATE. LIKE THINGS THAT HELP SEX. SO WATCH MY CONTENT!
So what do we do? do we tell ourselves the scary story? Well , it doesn’t matter. But we have to know that it doesn’t matter so we aren’t afraid anymore. It’s the fear. IMAGINE IF THE NEWS SPENT TIME REPORTING ON NOTHING. I THINK PEOPLE WOULD WATCH THAT. MAKING PRACTICES IS THE NEW TREND. WATCH MAKING PRACTICES. WE CAN DO IT. IT’S CALLED MAKING YOUR OWN CONTENT. TURN OFF THE TV AND WATCH EACH OTHER.
AFTER THE STORY OF THE TRAUMA, WE ENTER MAGIC, BUT THIS MAGIC IS SCIENCE. IN THAT WORLD, CHRISTIANITY IS A SMALLER PART. THERE IS AN INCOOMOPOLETE NARRATIVE OF JESUS. ONE THAT WEAVES INEASTERN RELIGIOUNS. AND IT CONTEXTUALIZES ALIENS
Artifacts 071919 | Dr. Monique Modrey discusses racism while I slowly start realizing my pattern of filming and dating white women.
So what does this mean to me? This shows me that this is the outcome of the conditioning of Christ, the same Christ that is based on conquest. It is a programming to stray from. The idea here is that there is no solution. This simply is. It wasn’t until I went to the Philippines, connected to my culture that I experience a deeper change than my religion. There is a “CHRIST” that is there.
ALONG WITH THAT, DR. MOULTRY GAVE A MESSAGE THAT IS WAS OKAY TO HAVE SEX OUTSIDE OF PURITY BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT THE CULTURE IS LIKE IN BLACK CHURCHES. THIS GENUINELY HAD ME FEELING GOOD.
When I think of the journey from the Korean Spa, I simply notice that what Dr. Moultry had said was true. That I did put a value there. What does this do? There is a guilt that is there perhaps? There is a younger generation that is striving to be good, and this is apparent to me when i look at Hawaii. Who are these people that are doing this? And are they part of the problem? But I think what needs to be articulated. Is there a self-hatred that is there. Is there an anger? And if so, perhaps that is what needs to be addressed, it is loving that sexual shame which is what I feature in the next episode.
Just as our version of the Bible has a conditioning that have left things a skew and is not working, there is something similar in the narratives that we have done when we compare this to other countries, We see an America that has put emphasis on something that results to death versus something that has results to life, and we will always defend this because of a conditioning and a trauma. What then do we do? What is the authentic message?
I remember my mom visiting a church member and they talked about sharing things and how this wasn’t a big deal. How they learned about this naturally. This is how I grew up. This was before I knew there was racism. We had something good and the church members were proud. LOVE HAPPENS ACROSS THE LINES. WE NEED THOSE DIFFERENCES. WHEN THERE IS MORE DIVISION, THERRE IS MORE LOVE.
The fact is this is already in our blood. There are many who have this ancestry in their blood. And it is out of a guilt that this story is told. It’s no longer our wound. THERE IS AN ANGER THAT KEEPS THOSE LINES ALIVE. AND THIS IS TOLD THROGUH THE SWITCH. THE SAME GOES THROUGH THE OLD CODING OF CHRISTIANITY. WHY ARE WE STILL GOING TO THER COUNTRIES TO SHARE THE GOSPEL. WHEN WILL WE STOP PREACHING? and waht does this teach a.i. will there be no end until humanity is irraticated
LET’S LOOK TO THE OTHER CULTURES. WHAT DO WE HAVE TO LEARN FROM THEM?
THE WHITE PEOPLE STILL DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT. THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE ORPHANS. WE ARE THE ONES WHO ADOPT THEM. EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN A TRIBULATION, YOU WILL EXPERIENCEIT.
THERE IS ANOTHER CHRISTIAN AMERICA, to me it was like burning man and they. aretrying plant medicines. they are asking about christian porn. there are ministers writing erotica. there are peole who have the gospel of the erotic. AND THIS DOES NOT GO REPORTED. SO WHO IS THE BAD GUY?
IS THE WAY WE LOVE WRONG? ONCE I HAVE TO START TALKING ABOUT JESUS, I’M NOT BEING ME. IN. POST-EVANGELISM WORLD, MAYBE WE DON’T NEED TO SHARE CHRIST, WE NEED TO BE CHRIST. NOT CHRIST LIKE, BUT BE CHRIST. YOUR VERSION.
| ARTIFACTS
Erostocrat |Video Journal on Sexuality
This video was produced to finally tell my story. For the first time, I conveyed my approach with my camera, tackling three fronts at once in a circuitous manner, as if pulled by a mysterious thread. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from — — the mind, the body, and the soul.
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This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.
See the evolution compass below.
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Connection to Content
What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)
Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)
What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)
Connection to Self/Divine
As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)
In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)
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Connecting to Content
What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)
What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)
What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)
Connecting to Self/Divine
What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)
As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)
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This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.
See the evolution compass below.
-
Connection to Content
What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)
Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)
What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)
Connection to Self/Divine
As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)
In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)
-
Connecting to Content
What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)
What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)
What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)
Connecting to Self/Divine
What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)
As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)
Erostocrat |Video Journal on Sexuality
This video was produced to finally tell my story. For the first time, I conveyed my approach with my camera, tackling three fronts at once in a circuitous manner, as if pulled by a mysterious thread. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from — — the mind, the body, and the soul.
THE MERGING OF FAITH AND PURITY CULTURE. THIS STARTED IN 1981 WHEN REAGAN GAVE A TALK TO THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONVENTION, AND THEN TRUE LOVE WAITS BECAME A GOVERNMENT INSTITUTED THING.
JUST LIKE ROME, THERE IS A MOTIVE TO MARRY.
THE ORIGINAL BAPTISTS HAD THEIR OWN THING AND THEY COULD BE LIKE TRIBES. FAITH WAS WILD AND ADAPTIVE UNTIL THE ROMAN’S TOOK CLAIM OF IT AND THIS THE VERSION THAT WE SEE OF IT TODAY.
PAGANISM AND CHRISTIANITY
Paganism in Christianity reflects the blending of ancient traditions with emerging Christian beliefs during the religion's early expansion. Many Christian practices, symbols, and holidays have roots in pre-Christian pagan customs, such as the use of evergreen trees during Christmas, the celebration of Easter with fertility symbols like eggs and rabbits, and the incorporation of sun imagery in halos. This fusion allowed Christianity to resonate with diverse cultures, creating a rich tapestry of spiritual expression that bridges the old and the new while highlighting humanity's shared search for the divine.
Christianity, as it developed, absorbed elements of pagan traditions to ease the transition for converts and establish cultural resonance. From holidays like Christmas and Easter—rooted in solstice and fertility celebrations—to symbols like the cross and the use of holy water, many practices trace back to pre-Christian spirituality. This blending reflects humanity's shared desire to connect with the divine, transforming ancient rituals into expressions of Christian faith while preserving the essence of their universal significance.
Christianity’s Pagan Roots: Unveiling the Ancient Influences
The Ark of the Covenant, often regarded as a sacred artifact in Judeo-Christian tradition, has also been interpreted through an unconventional lens as a symbolic work of public eroticism. This perspective stems from its rich imagery of union and fertility, embodied in the cherubim whose wings touch above the mercy seat—evoking themes of intimacy and divine connection. Seen as a representation of the sacred marriage between heaven and earth, this interpretation reimagines the Ark as an early expression of the human longing to unite the physical and spiritual in an act of cosmic love.
THE ART OF JUST FOR ONE DAY AS THE ARK
THE BODY |
Following my camera is following my body. This is my first-person experience—THE STORY— during the time of my first Holy Erotica Film Just For One Day and featured artifacts.
EP1 | A1 “MAKE HOLY EROTICA”
After completing Just For One Day, and the Response Video to it, Nathanael investigates if his work is actually healing by first visiting his therapist. When she says that Lily Cade can be a healer, Nathanael tries to make a healer out of her filming content inviting her to do porn shoots in his space so he can investigate and learn. Trying some, he realizes he doesn’t like it. This is featured in artifact #XXXXX. He follows her into a convention where she is nominated, but does not win. He reviews his progress and his colleagues think that he wants to be her, He finds out that she has#MeToo accusations against her and she apologizes. Uncertain if his film is good, until she meets with him a year later.
EP 1 | MAKE HOLY EROTICA
art for Just For One Day is featured in this premiere magazine from the first Holy Erotica film that I produced. It documents an event to me that I consider providential where I had an encounter with God.
This is an exploration of why I am into this content. Used to be because i couldn’t stand men. But I was abused by a man. And i also have a self-hatred. I couldn’t stand myself. (So I will have to make love to myself.) WHY IS IT THAT WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING AND THEY ARE SEXY? IS IT BECAUSE THEY ARE THE DEVIL? OR IS IT BECAUSE THEY ARE DIVINE? THE WOMAN IS SEEN IN THE WESTERN CANON AS PURE AND AS DEVIL. THIS IS LILITH.
EP1 | A1
Los Angeles, CA
After completing Just For One Day, and the Response Video to it, Nathanael investigates if his work is actually healing by first visiting his therapist. When she says that Lily Cade can be a healer, Nathanael tries to make a healer out of her filming content inviting her to do porn shoots in his space so he can investigate and learn. Trying some, he realizes he doesn’t like it. This is featured in artifact #XXXXX. He follows her into a convention where she is nominated, but does not win. He reviews his progress and his colleagues think that he wants to be her, He finds out that she has#MeToo accusations against her and she apologizes. Uncertain if his film is good, until she meets with him a year later.
Another thing that is featured is a 20 minute clip where I follow my subject only to find out she is on the hashtag me too list. Included with it is this raw interview where she expresses sincere remorse and admits that her time with me was real, vindicating my work.
EP1 | A2
Netherlands
Uncertain if he is good or not, Nathanael travels to the Netherlands where his film experiences a world premiere. The moment of applause is moving to him. But in reality, he is there to do a hit piece on the man because he has scandal. However, when Dr. Marc Gafni preaches something that he literally saw during his God experience during Just For One Day, Nathanael is conflicted. He can no longer the hit piece because there is something inherently true in the teachings despite his seduction. Nathanael’s camera focuses on the crotch, indicative of a seduction at play. But this is where he realizes that there is a conditioning that he has learned to normalize and that we cannot tell the difference unless we experience something pure. He says he feels tricked that he wasn’t shown the film, but this is false, because he already knew he was investigating a hit piece. This is how trauma can be tricky and re-story things.
Meanwhile, Nathanael has his first kiss with a man and experiments which heals his wound and it explains also his difficulty of being taken advantage of.
Two clips from a mystery school is featured. One is the applause of having my film featured and the other is hearing a teaching that mirrored my experience. One about the Ark of the Covenant as the first public display of erotic art.
EP1 | A3
Hot Springs, NC
Nathanael attends the WGF, the largest collection of progressive Christians. Bites from his podcast are featured that disclose what Baptist have the agency to believe and how southern baptist were able to acquire out of fear. This leads to an interview with Jennifer Knapp as she talks about how it’s weird to have duplicity. And I relate that to my feeling. He does like a crowd. And I see this, because so do I. And we flash back to those camp videos. I share why I am drawn to Jennifer Knapp because I have empathy. I needed to heal my wound around men. This is why I am drawn to lesbians. It’s the impossibility. When we can rewrite the story, we can give it new context. Artifact XXXX, recreating applause. We can rewrite the past. I feature my healing with my former wife.
INTERSTICIALS | former gospel singer
JENNIFER KNAPP has always intrigued me since she entered the gospel spotlight as a new talent with a powerhouse voice. Despite her love of Christ, the coding also came with a shame that she had to face and break from. Her visceral story is told through these film studies. She embodies the narrative of the lesbian, an archetype I am allured too, but through her, she is not sexualized. She said something that my colleagues say, “All about sex and not about sex.” This was unprompted by me. But it clued me into a web. She conjoined two narratives that I held separately. Ultimately, I am the one who connected these stories, and it’s who I am for myself that I projected onto her, which is the case of all things.
WEB OF PURITYREV. DR. EMILIE TOWNES, Dean Vanderbilt Divinity School, Social Ethicist and Theologian REV. DR. MARVIN ELLISON, Professor, Bangor Theological Seminary LINDA KAY KLINE, Author of PURE: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free DON SCHLOSSER, Music Minister, Glendale Baptist DR. RYAN CLARK, Producer REV. BROMLEIGH MCCLENAGHAN, Minister, Author of Good Christian Sex JENNIFER KNAPP, Dove Award Winner, Grammy Nominee REV. DR. AMY MEARS, Glendale Baptist Pastor JAMIE LYNN FINCH, Sex Witch, Author of You Are Your Own BRIAN CURRIE, Pastor of Compass Church DR. SHAWN WARNER-GARCIA , Linguist Professor University of Santa Barbara REV. KELLY BROWN DOUGLAS, Episcopal Priest and Theologian Dr. BILL STAYTON, Baptist Clergyman, Sexologist REV. DR. AMY BUTLER, Ordained Christian Minister LYNDSEY GODWIN, MDIV, Vanderbilt Divinity School DR. TINA SCHERMER-SELLERS, Family Therapist, Author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church NATHANAEL L. NOVERO, Former Camp Pastor, Filmmaker DR. MONIQUE MOULTRIE, Professor and Author Harvard Divinity School.; Author of Passionate and Pious: Religious Media and Black Women Sexuality
THE SOUL | EROTIC ART
NATHAN PRAYS ABOUT THE GUNS AND HE GETS IT AND HE REGRETS IT
NATHANAEL WILL CONFRONT THE SAME SEX WOUND AND ADMIT THAT SOMETHING WAS DONE TO HIM, AND SO THIS IS ABOUT CONFRONTING HIMSELF. HOMOSEXUALITY IS ADDRESSED HERE.
WILD GOOSE LEARNS THAT GAY PEOPLE ARE THE SHAMANS
NEXT IS SCHOEN WITH SEX SMART FILMS AND CRYING WATCHING FILMS TOGETEHER
SCHOEN GIVES BITE ABOUT GUNS
TALK ABOUT THE PRONOUNS AND HOW WE HAVE GONE TOO FAR BUT STILL WE CAN RELATE THIS TO GOD AND THE CHRUCH OF HOLY EROTICA
WILD GOOSE IS THE MAGICAL PLACE THAT THE NEWS DOESN’T REPORT AND CHRISTIANITY LOOKS LIKE THIS TOO!
WILD GOOSE, THERE IS ANOTHER MARY
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This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.
See the evolution compass below.
-
Connection to Content
What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)
Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)
What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)
Connection to Self/Divine
As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)
In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)
-
Connecting to Content
What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)
What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)
What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)
Connecting to Self/Divine
What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)
As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)
Erostocrat |Video Journal on Sexuality
This video was produced to finally tell my story. For the first time, I conveyed my approach with my camera, tackling three fronts at once in a circuitous manner, as if pulled by a mysterious thread. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from — — the mind, the body, and the soul.
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This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.
See the evolution compass below.
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Connection to Content
What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)
Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)
What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)
Connection to Self/Divine
As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)
In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)
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Connecting to Content
What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)
What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)
What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)
Connecting to Self/Divine
What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)
As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)
Erostocrat |Video Journal on Sexuality
This video was produced to finally tell my story. For the first time, I conveyed my approach with my camera, tackling three fronts at once in a circuitous manner, as if pulled by a mysterious thread. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from — — the mind, the body, and the soul.
-
This is where you read my INTROSPECTION of each artifact. The study summary sets the frame, tells the story, and gives introspection. It uncovers the filmmaker and subject’s journey, exploring relational and cultural dynamics, and highlight embodied experiences while maintaining ethical integrity. The summary also invites the possibility of a Higher Intelligence at play in eroticism.
See the evolution compass below.
-
Connection to Content
What was my initial understanding or belief about this story or subject, and how did it shape my creative process? (Focus on the thoughts or intellectual connections that inspired the creation.)
Where in my body did I feel the most resonance or tension while creating, and how did those sensations guide my choices?(Highlight the physical responses and how they influenced the work.)
What spiritual or intuitive truths did I connect with during the creation process, and how did they help me convey the essence of the story? (Reflect on the deeper, unseen forces that aligned with the content.)
Connection to Self/Divine
As I review this now, how has my perspective on the story evolved, and what new insights or feelings does it bring up? (Explore how time and experience have reframed the meaning or significance of the work.)
In this moment of creation, how can you feel the subtle guidance or intelligence flowing through you, shaping the narrative, and connecting you to something beyond your individual self? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take the lessons or growth from this experience and apply them to my future work or life? (End with a focus on integrating the experience into tangible action.)
-
Connecting to Content
What thoughts or ideas come tomind as I engage with this story, and how do they connect to my own experiences or beliefs?(Invite the viewer to reflect on intellectual or personal connections.)
What sensations arise in mybodywhile engaging with this content, and how do they shift throughout the experience?(Guide the viewer to notice their physical responses to the story.)
What deeper truths or spiritual questions does this story awaken, and how do they resonate with my life?(Encourage introspection on the soul-level connection.)
Connecting to Self/Divine
What new perspectives or emotions does this story leave me with, and how might they inspire a shiftin my own life? (Prompt reflection on personal transformation or change.)
As you engage with this content, can you sense a higher intelligence or divine presence guiding the story, inviting you to witness a deeper truth beyond the surface? (Explore the possibility of a guidance beyond the subject, beyond the filmmaker, beyond self, and beyond conditionings and trauma.)
How can I take what I’ve learned or felt from this experience and put it into practicein my daily life? (Encourage the viewer to translate the experience into actionable steps.)
Erostocrat |Video Journal on Sexuality
This video was produced to finally tell my story. For the first time, I conveyed my approach with my camera, tackling three fronts at once in a circuitous manner, as if pulled by a mysterious thread. Looking back at this piece in retrospect as an artifact, I can clearly see where the three pillars of the Erostocrat magazine has come from — — the mind, the body, and the soul.
The art for Just For One Day is featured in this premiere magazine from the first Holy Erotica film that I produced. It documents an event to me that I consider providential where I had an encounter with God.
The art for Just For One Day features a box study which shows a real time depiction of filming a scene, an event that proved traumatizing but also opened up a new art series to be introduced later.
The kiss is featured, which is another in a series of kiss art that will be featured throughout. This is important because it is the introduction to the epistemology of somatic artography, the moments when my filming became smooth.
cohe gallery premium access | holy of holies
NATHANAEL CREATES A MOMENT OF APPLAUSE, SOMETHING THTA HE GETS FROM A SELFIE, AND APPLAUSE FROM A MYSTERY SCHOOL, AND THEN FROM THE PURITY PIECE, THIS COMBINES EVERYTHING.
IN THE EROTIC SPACE, THE BOX STUDIES INTRODUCE A PLACE FOR HIM TO CREATE A MOMENT THAT HE PASSED UP, HE MAKES ART TO CREATE SOMETHING FALSE
APPLAUSE
BOX VIDEO DANA
MY WIFE’S HEALING
